The last sight

Everything looks beautiful from up above. I see the mountains which are bluer than usual, framed against a clear sky and the eagles flying above it. My most favorite sight in the world. Always, reminds me of the poem, Sohrab and Rustum.

As when some hunter in the spring hath found

A breeding eagle sitting on her nest,

Upon the craggy isle of a hill-lake,

And pierced her with an arrow as she rose,

A heap of fluttering feathers--never more

Shall the lake glass her, flying over it;

Never the black and dripping precipices

Echo her stormy scream as she sails by--

As that poor bird flies home, nor knows his loss

A hundred times must I have read it and tried to picture it and feel the loss of the dead bird and her blissfully ignorant mate. It hurt somehow. I look down and see the beautiful clouds covering the vile world. One of the clouds moved over a little and I can see the line of vehicles like a line of ants never ending. People going back to their homes, their crying yelling children, their perfect wives who would have their dinner ready, hot on the table. People who go to their waiting girl friends on the sly. Old people on their medicinal walk with their walking sticks tapping the floor in front of them. Young teenagers shut off from the world engrossed in their latest gadgets blaring loud music only for their ears. A world of their own. Maybe, this is why they get so shocked when they grow up and see the reality of the world. I was like that once.

A gentle breeze passed by, caressing my hair softly on its way - like a lover's kiss. I was brought back to reality. I am above the world now. I look around and see the lights in houses which start lighting up like a thousand fireflies which are suddenly exposed to the world. A flight just passed overhead, with its gleaming tail lights carrying a hundred moms, dads, brothers, sisters and love and hopes and gifts for the people on the ground. Some joyous rendezvous about to happen.

The northern star shows up. It was my wishing star. I had this superstition that when i see the star appearing in the evening sky and I wish on it, that would happen. It is still my secret. One I had never told anyone, not even him. I looked at the star. I needed no more wishes to be granted. I bid farewell to the star. If the legends hold true, i'd be beside it soon. I took one last look at the sky in all its jeweled finery looking up on me. I climb over the wall and stood on top of the 125th floor. No one can see me here. All alone on top of the world. I closed my eyes and felt the gentle breeze on my back - like a lover's kiss. I floated down, weightless. In a moment, I will be floating upwards again -to be on top of the world forever and ever.

My theory on accents

It was early morning 7 am and I was standing by the sea. Not really early according to normal standards, but considering that I was on a vacation and pulled out of bed by my dad who wanted to show the auction of the fresh fish on the local fisherman's beach and buy a big bulk of it, it was really early. So, sleepy headed and standing on the crowded beach with lot of fisher-people around, either to buy the fresh fish or bringing back the haul of fish to the land, or running on the beach to welcome their dads and brothers from the sea, our family were the only aliens, who was watching wide eyed at the way, the people with really strong arms pushing the boat out of the sea into the land, cleaning their fishing nets, throwing into the sea an occasional live star fish as if it was a mere stone or a pebble which just happened to be on their way.

The place was crowded with voices of everybody and I was just listening to them talking. The coastal language is very different. They just sing out their words. The words come out loooong. About 10 kms from there, people speak an entirely different accent. This weird thought just popped up in my head and I was just thinking how come people have different accents when speaking the same language? And out of nowhere there came this thought, Could it be due to their natural surroundings? Maybe this fishermen listen to the language of the sea and align their language to the sea...looooong and waaaaavvvy...Who knows, maybe that's why!

Mondays

Mondays - You cannot live with them and yet you cannot live without them too. I've never liked the sound of Mondays. Mon - Day, how much more boring can you name a day! And, because of mondays, I started hating Sunday evenings too. I've always noticed, when I was in school, I had the maximum boring periods on Mondays, and in office the most boring lengthy meetings. Still mondays have a lesson for people about life - Good things like awesome weekends never last long, You gotta come back to reality. I always beat the alarm on monday mornings, partly because I hate alarms more than mondays, thanks to my early morning 12th std tuitions. I still have an alarm phobia and use it only out of sheer helplessness. On weekends, I just throw my mobile as far as possible whether the alarm is set or not. So, coming back to the point, after dragging myself on the roads full of sleepy people, a lot still in their weekend hangover, reaching office is in itself a big achievement. And we grown ups chide our kids when they don't wanna go to school. I've never seen a cheerful face on monday mornings. If you go to the cafeteria, more sleepy faces with their coffee mugs, the boring ritual of, 'how was your weekend' and the few who had a great weekend longingly reminiscing the good moments. I think it is not the end of the weekend that makes mondays so boring, but the thought of facing 5 whole days of work and stress and less sleep. Anyways, how-much ever I curse mondays, the year is never gonna run out of mondays, neither can I carry on without them. Coz, monday mornings always brings with it a monday evening, and carrying on a successful monday is no small feat.

And I know this is a crappy post. What more can you expect on a monday!

A boring story

I've been struck by boredom for the past few days. So, so bored and so bored in an intensity never experienced before. Now, don't ask me why I am bored, coz I don't know. I am tired of this running around, packing up my life with so many things, doing the same things day-in and day-out. Well then, Should I take a vacation? No, that is just a temporary escape. I just wish I can drop all of these things and go and do something crazy, like go on an wildlife safari.

Not really,every day is the same, I did have a few adventures, like the other day I got lost when I went to explore a nearby place and got drenched in the rain and had my heart beating at the rate 180 pulses per minute till I reached home safe. It took me 10 hours and a good night's sleep to calm me down.

But what can you do to fight boredom, when nothing really interests you? I've been trying to read a book, not one book but at-least 3 a day, bits and pieces of each. Not until, I fell asleep after reading a supposedly interesting book did I realize that this is not working out. Then began movie marathon, watched 4 movies a day, until all I could hear was the white noise and my mind started analyzing, what the director was thinking when he framed this shot. So, no movies and no books. I took an evening walk 2 kms from home, went to a nearby super market, and boy the roads were all so empty. There are at least 50 apartments in this area and all I could hear was deafening silence.

As a last resort, in the longest day of my life, I am sitting and writing this beat the boredom story, while watching my all time favorite, Pirates of the Carribean. Perhaps tomorrow will be better.

Random Thoughts

If only human race was endowed with the gift of foresight, of looking into the future of their own lives, how many fantasies would have died in the hearts where they have taken root. The world of literature is saturated with the theories about life. Some see life as a piece of heaven which should be enjoyed to the fullest, some consider themselves travelers passing through this world to another, some wish they were never born while some others just drag themselves along.

One unanswered question and I doubt that I will ever find an answer to it ever is, what is the purpose of my life on this earth? I have wondered over this in-numerous times in my childhood. I had a treaded path to follow, defined by the society in which I was born into. I was educated, taught to have aspirations and ambitions, choose a profession, earn a life and move out on my own. I have fulfilled my expectations and yet there is something missing. Am I here in this world to survive, simply to survive because I exist? Science tells me I am a being with a superior sense than the other living beings on the face of this earth. Yet, I see no difference in the purpose of existence between them and me. They exist and so do I.

There was a time when I used to just sit in my balcony and look up at the stars and talk to them. I believed the stars can hear what I speak in my heart. All the fairy tales which I have read led me to live in a fantasy world of my own. As, a child I was told that every child has a guardian angel and they are the stars. So, whenever things get wrong I used to search for my guardian angel in the skies and ask her to set things right. That little conversation used to give me a safe feeling and I could sleep well in the night. Then, I learnt in my lessons that stars aren't silvery and shiny but dust and rocks. This is but just one of the many bitter truths I came across.

The biggest mystery which every individual has to find out by themselves is the life after the one on this world. It doesn't matter whether you are a warrior or a coward, whether you are rich or poor, whether you are a scholar or a mere commoner, this is for you to solve and nobody else can do it for any of the other. I like to think of myself as a traveler and this is a passing phase. I know not what my destination is, and do not care to. Let it be a mystery which will solve itself.

Trip to Queen of the Nilgiris

This post comes in a little late,..In fact, I have to think about the facts and figures and then put them down. Life has been so busy, that me and the sun are constantly trying to outrun
each other. Yes, I meant the real sun which shines on the sky. For the long weekend, we (of course, it's me and the one person who is destined to spend his entire life with me) decided to pack our bags and leave behind the constantly rising temperatures in Bangalore and head to the Nilgiri hills. So, after dusting our car (It has been just standing in the parking lot for 2.5 months Anup was out. The brave me never even went near the car. Well, that's a different story, I'd hope to write someday) at the first crack of dawn, we fled Bangalore before the dreaded traffic starts. We had a sleepy drive through Bangalore, and were on mysore highway in an hour ( Record time...If it had been another time , half the day would be spent dragging the car along the roads of Bangalore, and a lot of finger showing and cursing @#$%&). So far, so good!

The highways in Bangalore are pretty well developed, thanks to the young IT population, there are coffee days and Baristas spread all over the highway. It's like 2 acres of farm land and a grazing cow herd and then you see Barista in the middle of it. Well, that's bangalore. So, we decided to stop for breakfast and within 15 mins, the place was fully crowded like somebody fast forwarded how a movie theater fills up..5 mins before the movie starts, the entire place will be overflowing with people.

So, anyways with Barista breakfast we set again on our car and 6 hours of driving straight brought us to mudumalai forest. Now started a journey into the green forest. There are big hoardings telling you to save tiger and how mankind cannot survive without tiger. Beats me! What is the connection between man and tiger?? Any intellectuals who understood out there, please explain. Also, there are hoardings of no parking, no honking, no smoking, no drinking, no picinic, no music. I swear I am not making this up, Which idiot will picnic in the middle of the forest where there are 105 tigers? I was keeping my eyes open for some wild animal to cross, or on the tree, or hiding in the bush with my mobile cameras out and ready. Except for the horrible tiger pictures on the yellow board with a lot of NO signs , which now seriously irritates me, I dint even sight a mouse. On top of that, our family is half convinced that we are going to be eaten up by a tiger, and my recently adopted 'No Exercise' lifestyle made me an attractive target. Well, even though the wildest being I saw was a sparrow hopping in front of our car, it was a good drive, and now we are in the foothills of ooty.

With a track record of always losing our way atleast once, this time we are determined to go the right way. So, we called up our friend who had driven to Ooty to get the way, and of course who can live without google maps, an india highway map and the outlook tourist guide. Armed with all this information, there is no way we can lose our way. Our friend had cautioned us not to take the hairpin bends, coz it is too steep, too curvy, and my husband back from Europe unconsciously keeps going to the right. Not willing to take any chances, with both of us quite tired now, with just 4 hours of sleep, we decided to take the longer road which is 30 kms more but safer. We entered a intersection and there were 2 sign boards for Ooty, Anup says straight and I screamed Left, and you know, we were heading left, and the road is getting narrower and narrower. Crap! the hair pin bends. With wild imaginations and me telling my last prayers secretly, we hit the curve. But, seriously, it was the most beautiful drive I have ever experienced. The scene was breath taking. We managed pretty well and was at the top, when we realised the biggest mistake we made.

This world consists of smart people and we were not the only ones. We realised the world shares similar ideas when we saw Ooty was stuck in a traffic jam choking with people all around the neighbourhood for the weekend. There went our idea of a quiet, hassle free holiday. We checked into the hotel, I have to give it to them. It was an awesome place with a fireplace. I actually thought they were joking when the people from the hotel mentioned that we have to carry warm clothes in the middle of May. It turned out that they were not. By 6 pm , I was freezing with cold and spent the evening under the bed covers with fire place lit up.

The next morning we decided to go explore ooty and hired a taxi. Seriously, who wants to drive through the traffic jam. After all, we came to see Ooty and not the people. Heeding to the warning of the hotel guy, we decided to quit all the famous places and drove up to pykara lake. I made a mistake of talking to the driver in tamil. Quite excited, he started his guided taxi tour. There were a lot of fresh carrots on the road side,and I remarked nice carrots. That's all I said. The next 15 mins, he started stopping at all the carrot farms or whatever they call it and gave me an agricultural lesson on how they grow it to how it is exported. So much for my big mouth. Anyways I manage to steer him from the topic, and looks like every stone and every tree in ooty has been part of some film that has been shot. We got a very detailed account of each movie down to the details of each scene on all the locations.

Some interesting places we visited, the tea factory - It was interesting to know how tea was made. Pykara lake - serene lake, untolerable crowd, Pine forest - stunning place again crowd, crowd, crowd. These places have to be visited when there is less crowd and admired in solitude.

However, our Ooty trip turned out more like an school excursion, thanks to the driver anna, I can now tell, what the british built and in which century. We are planning to visit again in december, hopefully I'll be able to enjoy the place for what it is.

Right under your nose...

Today I had the most funniest and trying experiences. I had to compare 2 text files, and I did not have any software on my machine which could do that. Actually, I did not have the only software which I knew could do the job in seconds. So, I go around eating all my colleague's heads and cursing all the applications in my system and fed up with my lamenting my next cubicle neighbor fixes the problem through Unix. Happy with the output though complicated, I am doing a comparison, writing an e-mail while managing to validate the data on another application when I suddenly remember that I had asked somebody else to compare the same data in access. I run to his seat and ask him to stop, narrating my success story with Unix, kinda feeling elated coz Unix is a tough word, and this guy next to me is giving me a weird look. I try to ignore him and go on throwing technical jargons of diff, file, comparison blah blah and this weird look guy asks me, did u look in ur C drive? I have a blank face now. C drive? Why would I look in my C drive? First of all how does he know what's in my C drive. And then he comes to my machine and opens my C drive and shows the application which I was looking for from morning. It was right under my nose all the time. Managing a sheepish smile I say, oops hidden application. What else can I say ....